The great vuvuzela war
South Africa is facing a number of pressing problems. The recession is biting deeper than expected – the expectation coming from a largely economic illiterate and denialist political leadership. The judiciary is under attack – from a governing party that can’t abide its will or – more usually – its lapses being examined by independent courts. Having destroyed the public health system, the government in fit of misplaced egalitarianism seeks to destroy the private health system as well. Not to forget that a recent study has found the 25% of South African males admit to rape.
But these aren’t the issues that get South Africans’ juices flowing. No, the country is experiencing a soccer frenzy at the moment with the local staging of the Confederations Cup competition as a dress rehearsal for next year’s World Cup. And the topic that is dominating the national conversation involves the various merits of the vuvuzela. Yes, that nasty bit of plastic so beloved by football fans. It is held to the lips and as lungfuls of toxic air is blasted through it, it emits a sound somewhere between a malfunctioning foghorn and a bellowing ox in its last throes of agony.
Foreign visitors, local supporters at their first footbal match and even some teams have complained about the fiendish racket. Local supporters are indignant saying it’s part of their culture and that if people don’t like it then they can just bugger off. Which, I might opine, they will.
If you’ve caught any of the games on TV, you would have heard a continuous droning sound, like a perpetually embittered swarm of hornets. But you really have to be there to appreciate the full horror of the cacophony. I took my son to a game a few nights ago and have been suffering from headaches ever since, and am sleeping fitfully.
Wesley, vuvuzela aficionado
An Australian I met at the game was simply incredulous: “Why don’t they just ban the bloody thing?” he whined. A typical Australian reaction to anything that might vaguely cause offence. No, I’m not for banning anything. Like anything I find offensive, I’ll simply remove myself and not attend occasions graced by the blaring of these instruments from hell. I’d rather attend a jack-hammer expo.
But there was a glimmer of relief. When my tortured ears heard a series of sweet, modulated sounds behind me, a whipped around to see a middle-aged man coaxing these notes from satan’s trumpet. I had seen him before, looking slightly uncomfortable with his four strapping lads all blaring out their hate. Now he had commandeered one of their horns and was producing these notes from heaven. (Okay – that’s a bit of a stretch, but anything was better than what had been assailing my brain up till then.)
I was immensely impressed with this employment of his embouchure to produce such notes. “I guess you must me a bugler”, I asked hopefully. “No, I play the French horn – I can make music out of anything”, he said apologetically.
I then got to thinking that if these heathen brutes could be introduced to the joys of producing actual musical notes from their hellish plastic pipes there might just be a shift in Zeitgeist amongst them and they might seek to actually make music. Luckily, it appears that one Pedro Espi-Sanchis has had the same idea, albeit without the requiring the sort of skill demonstrated by our French hornist.
Along with a Bafana Bafana surprise win, “Pedro the Music Man” wants to hear soccer fans blow their vuvuzelas in unison at stadiums across the country. Espi-Sanchis, famed for his appearances on children’s television shows, has developed three vuvuzela orchestras around the country, and plans to expand for 2010.
Well, all strength to his horn, as it were. You can listen to an interview with him and to his orchestra here:
100 years ago in full colour
I don’t know about you, but I tend to form monochrome pictures in my mind when I think of the past, well at least times before the ’70’s. I suppose it’s because the snapshots and movies from those times are usually in black and white – as are 95% of my childhood pics. I’ve also noticed that film-makers trying to recreate the ’70’s, sometimes use washed out colours – like the footage from the Vietnam War.
Well if anyone needed reminding that no, the world wasn’t less colourful back then, look at the picture below. It looks like it could have been taken with a modern digital camera, yesterday. But it’s a hundred years old! Yep, taken in 1909.
You can view this great collection of 100 year-old colour photos here. They were taken by the Russian photographer Sergey Mikhaylovich Prokudin-Gorsky. A trained chemist, he developed the colour technique himself.
Exactly one hundred years ago a Russian photographer, began a remarkable project. With the blessing – and funding – of the Tsar, Nicholas II, he embarked on an extraordinary journey to capture the essence of Russia in full color photographs. Many of these pictures look as if they could have been taken yesterday, with only the costumes worn by the people captured in their moment of time betraying the age of the work.
A job for the well dressed
The South African Broadcasting Corporation (SABC) has always been a plaything of politicians from whichever ruling party had its snout in the public purse. Which basically boils down to the National Party, the party that brought the world Apartheid, and now the African National Congress, which brought the world the fastest expanding waistlines ever witnessed.
As is their want, the politicos and their friends and family are making whoopee over at the SABC. So much so that this sorry propagandist is in debt to the tune of millions of dollars after spending freely on unwanted, unnecessary and worthless foreign bureaus. And millions on programming that remains undisturbed in the original wrapping. Not to mention the lavish attention the board and management members pay on themselves. It’s a shattering embarrassment being spotted among the local hoi polloi, rather than on an expensive first-class-all-the-way overseas junket.
All this while they are destroying an entire industry by not paying the production houses for the content they commissioned. While they stuff caviar and crayfish down their fat throats, the organisation in their care is being destroyed and thousands of people are losing their jobs through their gross incompetence and mismanagement.
Don’t take my word for it: former SABC board chair Kanyisiwe Mkonza admitted that she “sucks as a leader”. But of course that didn’t stop this creature from accepting the position from her political sponsors. After all, a girl’s got to scoop up the gravy wherever she finds it.
And then…..
Pansy - well dressed
Yes I admit, even I was surprised. But it does show the clarity of mind, the single-minded pursuit of the dream that sets SABC board members apart. They are the stuff of legend.
Because, then – during the parliamentary hearing where these highly dysfunctional, ultimately greedy and self-serving idiots were being grilled – the gloriously named Pansy Tiakulu spoke her mind:
Yesterday’s proceedings ended with Pansy Tlakula asking if she and other members of the board were entitled to a clothing allowance, since the committee had requested that they attend today’s hearings.
Her request, which was not a joke, was politely dismissed by Ismael Vadi, the chair of the portfolio committee on communication.
Yes, true.
Climate change movie a swindle
A grubby 2007 film made by a bunch of British film-makers named “The Great Warming Swindle“, has provided a great deal of fuel to the global warming denialist mob. One thing we know is that these denialists are not open to reasonable argument, let alone actual evidence. So of course the careful systematic debunking of all the claims made in the movie would just be dismissed as part of some mysterious conspiracy. A few changes were made to the original movie in response to scientific criticism, but the central message remains.
Now environmentalist Peter Sinclair has put together a presentation which shows how the data was distorted in the movie. And when you see how inconvenient data was simply left out, it smacks of deliberate fraud.
Homoeopathy: what’s the harm?
In a recent post I recounted the sad tale of little Gloria Thomas who died from complications arising from untreated eczema. Her only “treatment” had been homoeopathic preparations that had no effect since homoeopathic preparations contain no active ingredients. Unfortunately this sort of neglect of treatable conditions and diseases is very common. Have a look at this list of people, some quite well known, who are victims of non-treatment by homoeopathy.
So taking homoeopathic remedies has to be completely safe then, no? Well in the US, the FDA has disallowed a company called Matrixx from marketing its Zicam products. This follows hundreds of reports of patients losing their sense of smell after using Zicam Cold Remedy Swabs. It appears that this remedy is not benign; it contains actual active ingredients, including zinc which which is suspected of causing the loss-of-smell disbility.
You might have noticed in the what’s the harm list that it included the case where a homoeopath peddled a “homoeopathic” concoction that killed three and blinded seven:
Gundawar was a homeopath who sold a new tonic, recently introduced on the market, that was supposed to reduce fatigue. He himself died, along with several of his patients. Several others were blinded, and other cases occured elsewhere in India.
Clearly this was highly toxic and was most definitely not homoeopathic.
So what’s the confused adherent to alternative medicines to do? There is no protection from independent or controlling bodies, nor any scientific investigation into their toxicity – let alone efficacy. I suppose the best way to be safely duped by a quack is to only consult “reputable” homoeopaths (that is those with a lot of regular patients still living), and with remedies that have been highly diluted, as is the recommended practice. Insist on the best dilutions: a minimum of 1030 going up to a much better 101500 or greater dilution. You will recognise these as 30X or 1500X. Certainly go over 23X, at which point Avogardo’s Number is exceeded and it becomes increasingly unlikely that even a single molecule of the original “active” ingredient is to be found in the dilution. In that way you will know there is absolutely nothing at all in the “remedy” that will harm you. Of course there will be nothing that will help or treat you either, but that’s where faith and the placebo effect kick in.
For a better understanding of how homeopathy works, watch James Randi’s explanation:
Site for sore eyes
If you’ve been wondering why things seem to be a bit slow here at ReasonCheck Central, it’s because the site has just undergone a major makeover. I think it’s looking pretty good now, don’t you?
A bunch of building blocks have been put in place to provide some fun stuff in the future – look out for them.
Oppose censorship: break down the firewalls
The protests in Iran over the election results have once again highlighted the increasingly significant role digital technologies are playing in exposing the outrages of oppressive regimes. The Iranian regime has gone to great lengths to stifle electronic communication including shutting down cellphone networks – particularly texting services – and denying access to a number of websites where ordinary Iranians would be able to access news of what’s happening in their country.
The mark of an oppressive regime is that it prefers to operate in an information vacuum where its carefully controlled messages can be fed to its oppressed citizenry. The PC and the Internet have challenged that model allowing ordinary citizens to publicise their plight to the outside world. And it has accelerated enormously with the ubiquitous camera/video-enabled cellphones. Almost every individual now walks around with a camera, ready to take images that compliant state media wouldn’t touch. Take a look at this video from Iran – notice how when the shooting starts the electronic shooting takes off. Virtually everyone records the events on cellphones.
Social networking has provided the distribution medium. Twitter in particular has been the main platform used to organise the protest within Iran and report the turmoil to the outside world. Following its use in the recent anti-Communist protests in Moldova, Twitter has now become an incredibly powerful tool for the citizen reporter. Even a few months ago people were scratching their heads over Twitter, saying they “just don’t get it”. Now it’s likely to become the number one target of despotic regimes.
To preserve this channel of freedom it is important that individuals and groups around the world do what they can to continuously attack the firewalls and service removals used by oppressive governments to keep their populace in ignorance. Censorship requires a total blockage of the information being suppressed. Anything less is a blow against censorship.
This is not something to ever delegate to government. No government can ever be relied on to break down the information walls that surround the dictatorships, theocracies and police states. Even some liberal democracies, like Australia, yearn to block information that it deems unfit for its child-like citizens to consume. Politicians, given the opportunity, will tend to block information rather than open it up. They should never be given the opportunity. No matter what excuse, what great benefits they espouse, censorship should always be opposed and freedom vigorously defended.
Global Internet Freedom Consortium is one such group that is working hard to crack the censorship walls. Members of this group of “hacktivists” produce a range of anti-censorship technologies. They have had considerable success in cracking the Great Chinese Firewall and devoting much energy to punching holes in the Iranian and Burmese barriers.
However things turn out in Iran, these protests will cause two things: Governments will redouble their efforts to censor digital information, and private citizens will exponentially increase the amount of information for dispersal. In the end, with all our support, the ordinary citizens will prevail.
Mr. Deity is back
After a long absence, Mr. Deity is back. The same crew, Larry, Jesse, Lucy and of course Mr. Deity Himself make a very welcome return. It will certainly please the Trekkies out there.
Take a look at the relaunched Mr. Deity website: finally there’s one place to get all the Mr. Deity episodes. Plus a host of essential Mr. Deity resources for the modern take-the-piss-out-of-religion individual.
Should men urinate sitting down?
Yes, that is the pressing question of the day. Frankly, I didn’t realise there was any controversy about this at all. I mean, all men urinate standing up, don’t they? Except of course when they’re doing a number 2.
Well no, it appears not. Not in Japan, at least. Apparently 40% of Japanese men pee sitting down. And it seems they do this at the insistence of their partners. European women too are by all accounts getting more militant about forcing males to twinkle seated. A female headmistress went so far as to force the schoolboys to sit for wee-wees.
It is of course no secret that women are generally not enamoured with male micturition – apparently it’s all the splashing that disturbs. But isn’t it taking it a bit far to browbeat the brethren into taking a leak seated?
And did you know that Muslim men are supposed to pee sitting down? It’s apparently what the prophet usually did and you dare not get urine on your clothes!
Well the Naked Scientist doesn’t think whizzing seated is a good idea. It all boils down to the male anatomy – particularly the bit women don’t have.
The first fact to be faced: most of the stray “sprinkles” that so enrage European women occur not during the act of urination itself, but immediately afterward, during a ritual men learn as part of their potty training. By “ritual” I refer to the various manoeuvers required to discharge the urine remaining in the urethra (the muscular tube that delivers urine to the tip of the penis) once the bladder is empty. Nor is the act merely symbolic or recreational. A man who tucks away his penis without performing these manoeuvers will dribble half an ounce of urine into his underwear, causing an embarrassing stain in the crotch of his trousers, or an even more embarrassing streak down his trouser leg. To avoid this debacle, every sentient male, after every urination, carefully squeezes or “milks” his member to assure that no stray drops remain within the urethra.Unfortunately, some men pursue this goal with excessive vigour, indulging in what can only be described as “shaking off the last drop.” It is precisely these movements – and not the free-falling stream itself – that deposit most of the unwanted urine on lavatory floors throughout the world. And sometimes, given a sufficiently vigorous shake, on the walls, or even on the ceiling.
And no, the female approach to drying off just doesn’t cut it:
We must also consider anatomy: the female urethra spans only a miniscule length in comparison to that of the male, and as a result, it harbours only a tiny dollop of urine. The male ritual seems barbaric to women because they need only daub themselves with a tissue to remove the few drops remaining on the external genitalia.
He has a suggestion that I’m sure will meet with universal acclaim from the female of the species: piss in the basin. As he so forthrightly exclaims:
Make your woman happy.
Be clean and green.
Piss in the sink!
Those pesky Japanese might have come up with a solution for their oppressed brothers: the Angel Lap Pillow which forces the poor emasculated creature to kneel down to avoid spillage.
It looks like pure humiliation to me.
However, to be balanced, here is Larry David explaining why men should pee sitting down.
More DIY videos at 5min.com
Barbara Hogan: lone voice of reason
In the sea of irrationality that is the ANC (South Africa’s ruling party), Barbara Hogan stands out as its lone voice of reason. She is the Public Enterprises minister, which oversees the country’s state-owned enterprises. In comments to a Parliamentary oversight committee she warned unprofitable state-owned enterprises that the new administration might be prepared to sell them if they continued to under-perform as the state could not afford to bail them out indefinitely. Nothing wrong with that, you might say.
Well this has caused a furore within her own party and its allies. The ruling alliance has adopted left-wing, Marxist economic policies which favour state ownership of “strategic” business, in what is known as the “developmental state”. Certainly, privatisation is absolutely ruled out. These state-owned enterprises, rather than doing any state “development” are hopeless drains on the taxpayer. They are largely inefficiently and poorly run by unqualified managers who owe their positions the ANC. It is estimated that R100bn ($12bn) has been spent on propping up these entities between 2004 and 2008.
Yet the comrades in the government, largely educated in the Soviet block and brought up in an ideological tradition of Marxism, will not concede that loss-making, dysfunctional state-owned companies run by Party hacks are not the great drivers of the economy they say they are. This is simply ideological blindness of the obvious. Hogan is the child who exclaims that the Emperor has no clothes and that is the reason for the furious reaction. Policy and ideology override evidence and reason.
Barbara Hogan has shown herself to be a pragmatist and remains true to her principles; her sense of justice and fairness that has seen her endure horrendous treatment from the Apartheid government. She is undoubtedly an extremely brave woman. She bravely criticised the government as a cabinet minister when it denied the Dalai Lama a visa to attend a meeting in South Africa at the request of China.
Like the Dalai Lama incident, she will be slapped down and made to at least water down her comments. But that doesn’t detract from her obvious innate rationality. And bravery.
-
Recommended
